Sprucing up the Masturbatorium
Sherilyn Levy the Nurse in Charge at the Brigham and Women’s Hospital Center for Reproductive Medicine says that she knows what guys want. In ART, the woman’s job -- from hormone injections, to harvesting, to implantation, and hopefully pregnancy and delivery -- can be pretty harrowing. The man’s job is simple really, but Levy and a colleague Bonnie Campbell decided that B&W’s aging ‘men’s lounge’ an important part of most fertility procedures at the hospital, was due for an update.
They surveyed 100 males who had used the lounge asking them to provide feedback, anonymously, on things like the ambient noise level, the preferred subject matter (surprise surprise 95% preferred heterosexual encounters), and their general impressions of the experience.
Sample question:
When compared to other situations when you have been required to produce a semen specimen this men’s lounge was ____ than the others.
A. Better, B. Same, C. Worse, D. NA
The survey gave them lots of ideas for improvements to the lounge. Some men were worried because they could hear people in the hallway. It was distracting to some, others worried that outsiders could listen in on their progress. Many, Levy said, were less than impressed with the furnishings. Not surprisingly most guys wanted a bigger TV. Also, she said, “The lounge chair was a bit intimidating.” A drooping leather chaise, similar in shape to a dentist’s chair apparently put some guys on edge. And when there’s a task … erm … at hand you really don’t want nerves getting in the way.
Levy and Campbell have yet to institute their renovations, which will include better soundproofing, a more traditional recliner, and a computer based media centre with a touch-screen interface. When I asked if the idea of a touch-anything might be a bit out of place in a masturbatorium, Campbell reminded me that touch screens wipe down easily. A traditional remote control has the potential to get “a lot funkier.”
And keeping all of the inspirational media centrally stored has another benefit, they told me. One of the common complaints their anonymous respondents made was over the lack of material. Apparently their porn has a tendency to grow legs.
Comments
Oh my Gawd! :^)
Having recently seen most of *Running With Scissors*, I decided to Google "Masturbatorium." This made me laugh. Mike
Posted by: Mike | November 10, 2007 04:38 PM
Ayup. Right there with ya, Mike.
Posted by: Auryn | November 16, 2007 10:20 PM
Believe it or not, I've actually used this exact "Men's Lounge" at the Brigham (before the renovations you describe).
The first time I went, there were not enough magazines, but I did get the job done. The second time, I brought my laptop, preloaded with some videos.
They really try to make it dignified, but the whole concept is weird. You wait in the chairs with some other guys, until one of the rooms is vacant, then you go in there and masturbate. For me the weirdest part is thinking that the guy I just saw leaving the same room had an orgasm in there just minutes earlier.
I also became strangely concerned with privacy. What is someone had stashed a hidden cam in there to get tons of videos of men masturbating for some gay porn site?
I also wondered about the women who work at the desk and to whom you give your completd sample. Are they grossed out or turned on?
I mean, what if there were a job that men could get where they sat outside of a room where a parade of women went to masturbate. Do you think some guy somewhere in this situation would try to get a peek or plant a camera somehow?
Anyway, it's a weird thing.
In case you are wondering, the first time I gave my sample, it was just an average experience. But somehow, my second time led to a mind-blowing orgasm. Maybe I'm twisted.
Posted by: PV Man | October 29, 2008 01:12 AM