How do you tell if someone is drunk? In America you might ask them to walk in a straight line or stand on one leg. In the UK you might ask them to blow into a breathalyser. If you work for NASA you produce a number of contradictory reports and leave everyone confused about what the truth actually is.

The space agency’s administrator Michael Griffin claimed yesterday his “guys” are in the clear over allegations they flew while inebriated. “I’m saying I think our guys are doing a heck of a job, and these allegations are untrue,” he said (LA Times). He also said claims of drunken astronauts were “urban legend” (NY Times). The Washington Post says Griffin will start an alcohol testing program for employees, required by law since 1991 but not implemented.

Last month it was reported that NASA had allowed astronauts to fly while drunk (by Nature, as well as others). A report published on 27 July stated: “Two specific instances were described where astronauts had been so intoxicated prior to flight that flight surgeons and/or fellow astronauts raised concerns to local on-scene leadership regarding flight safety. However, the individuals were still permitted to fly.” (report pdf)

So it was something of a surprise to see the latest NASA report, evaluating the earlier report, states: “I was unable to verify any case in which an astronaut spaceflight crewmember was impaired on launch day …” Wine, beer and “a half-empty bottle of tequila” were all found in crew quarters though. (report pdf)

Clearly we now need a review of the evaluation of the report. Oh wait – there’s already one scheduled.

You can read all the reports, summaries, statements and other water-muddying documents from NASA on their website.

Image: the shuttle through mist / NASA