Posted on behalf of Materials Girl
These are ‘stolen’ from a good friend of mine who proves that chemists can be witty, too! My Facebook page – yes, that infernal, horrendous, time-wasting network – is well-stocked with his quotes. The second limerick is probably the best I’ve ever read.
—
There once was a fellow from Stowles
Who bred cockroaches, rabbits, and voles
Asked how he could keep track
Of this prolific pack
He replied “I just count them in moles.”
—
A Chemist, gone mad with distraction
Hurled into the sea his reaction.
To atone for this loss
He was made by his boss
To recover it via extraction.
—
Can anyone out there do any better?
[Editor’s note: first it was haiku… now limericks, what next?!!]
A crusty chem storeroom pimp Adam,
Was called out to suffer macadam.
His flasks, screamed the opines,
were lame ducks on vac lines,
“’Tis Florence that has the round bottom.”
The second one reminds me of the time a bad Keck clip sent my flask into the water bath. Fortunately, it was in DCM and sank to the bottom; I was able to pipet it out.
I’m a hopeless Facebook junkie.
A chemist is something I ain’t –
Periodical table’s gone faint.
But I come from a faction
That gets more reaction
From lim’ricks I write (no complaint).
I really like the first one. It reminds me of one authored by an old friend of mine, a mathematician like me. See, we can be witty too!
If twelve sheep in an arc were hurled,
So that round the earth their path curled,
Would it start World War Three?
Would they make history
As the herd that was shot round the world?
— Jacob Siehler