It seems internet fraudsters have tired of pretending to be African despots and Spanish lottery syndicates. Now they’re pretending to be academics.

Into various Nature inboxes has popped the following message:

I am Dr. Robert Pasteiner, the head of department of clinical pharmacology and director of research, at the University of London. I write to solicit your assistance in a project of mutual benefit.

In February 2003, a research grant of (US$58.5 Million) was given to my department, with me, leading a team of other clinical pharmacologists, by the pharmaceutical society of United Kingdom, to conduct a research on Vector-borne diseases in Scotland and Ireland. The research has since been concluded (specifically in May 2006) we only spent US$36.2 Million, leaving a total balance of US$22.3 Million.

An under-spend of 38% on a government research project? Our hard-nosed reporter smells a rat on this one. Read on for our exclusive interview with Dr Pasteiner…

Brilliantly, the email does play on the poor salaries obtained by researchers, saying “only God knows that I have put in 25 years of my lives into working for the government as academics [sic], but I do NOT have anything to show for it, hence this opportunity I see as God sent”.

Needless to say there is no ‘Department of Clinical Pharmacology’ at the University of London. That institution is actually an umbrella body for a number of self-governing colleges and has no departments of its own. Equally the Royal Pharmaceutical Society of Great Britain, while being lovely people in my experience, are not so lovely that they’d let you keep $22 million of their money for your own use.

In a strange twist, it seems scammers aren’t very good at making up names: ‘Robert Pasteiner’ has previous in this regard. He’s also claimed to be “a legal representative of a well known political personality in Great Britain” and a barrister to one of the victims of the 7/7 London bombings.

The email came with a telephone number. So I rang it:

Hello?

Hello. Could I speak to Robert Pasteiner please?

Yes, Robert Pasteiner speaking. Who am I speaking with?

My name is Daniel. I’m a journalist in the UK. I was wondering why you sent me an email pretending to be the head of a department that doesn’t exist at the University of London?

A department that doesn’t what?

I have an email from you in which you claim to be the head of the department of clinical pharmacology at the University of London.

Yes.

Did you send this email.

Yes, of course. My friend, listen to me, what is your name?

My name is Daniel and I’m a journalist at the magazine Nature.

Daniel, or journalist, or whatever. You should have to learn how to approach someone. OK? How do you mean that I’m claiming to be? I am the person that is talking to you and you’re telling me I’m claiming to be. You should have some courtesy before you call someone on the phone.

But there is no department of clinical pharmacology at the University of London.

There is no what?

There is no department of clinical pharmacology at the University of London.

Listen you’re just a mad journalist OK? Carrying a [inaudible] message or writing s*** on the streets from one minute through to the other. Listen and listen carefully. The pharmacology is a teaching hospital in London city but the department is not situated in London in the university. We have the department in the clinic, in the teaching hospital of the university.

Which hospital?

My friend Daniel. If you’re talking from where you are phoning I don’t think I can give you any information about myself any further.

So this is not a scam?

No, no, no. Come on. Listen to me perfectly. You receive my email and what I told you there is what you obtain [inaudible]. I don’t know what you call scam.

You still say you are the head of clinical pharmacology at the University of London?

Yes, but not inside the university because the clinical department doesn’t have a department or faculty in the University of London. We have it at one of the hospitals there in London. I cannot disclose that for security reasons.

Thank you very much for your time Mr Pasteiner.

Image: Getty